You are in for a treat today as I have a wonderful Q&A with the delectable and loveable Mavis – excited much over here!!!!!!! Haven’t stopped squealing!
Hey Mavis! How are you today? How’s the family?
Hi Zoe, all is good thank you. We’re enjoying a weekend off together which is a rare treat, normally Joe vacates our bed for an early shift and ten minutes later I’m jumping into it after finishing nights. I get the better deal with some reservations – the bed is still warm but honestly, some of the manly aromas he leaves tucked under the duvet for me to discover are horrendous!
Our Ben is growing so fast, he’s such a happy little boy, I’m not sure if he’s got my childish sense of humour or Joe’s quick wit, I suppose time will tell. We’re currently on potty training, but oh jeez nobody warned me how different it is for a boy compared to a girl. We’ve had plenty of sudden onset Code Browns and poor Joe had a bit of a surprise in one of his SWAT boots last week…. well I did warn him not to leave them in the downstairs loo next to Ben’s potty.
Wow, that does sound like a manic weekend! How did you start the day today?
Rapidly! See question one, lol…. this time it was Alfie the dog and the kitchen wall that got the full impact of Ben’s inability to aim straight. Once I’d cleaned up and Alfie’s indignance had been placated with a doggie chew, it was a trip into town.
Unfortunately, my shopping spree was a little shorter than usual. In my eagerness to vacate the madhouse for a little bit of ‘me time’ I’d left my bra hanging on the hook in the utility room resulting in my droopy nellies rampantly swinging unharnessed in Costa Coffee, sweeping a plate of lemon curd tarts, two packets of shortbread and the charity box off the counter when I reached for a chocolate brownie. Definitely not a good look and made for a very hasty exit home.
LOL does not sound like a good start for your me time! Ok, describe yourself in 3 words
Oh gosh, that’s a difficult one. I think loyal, caring and a little bit flakey. I am quite fierce too, but in a nice way, I will fight for what I think is morally right.
I completely agree with all of that! You have kept me so amused with your stories, but do you ever have a day when nothing happens? Without any adventures, just veg in front of the tv?
Oooh yes, I have lots of days where I veg out in front of the tv, I love days/nights like that but true to my nature, it’s rare that nothing happens. I have quite an apt nickname at work, I’m called a sh*t magnet which is pretty much self-descriptive, if it’s complicated/disastrous/dire/funny then it attaches itself to me. I don’t mind really, it’s good to laugh at myself as much as I laugh along with others. Life can be so dismal at times, so if there is something funny or an adventure to share that might make others laugh, then that makes me happy.
I actually did have a quiet duvet day last week, believe it or not. All on my own, just to chill, catch up on Coronation Street and eat lots of pickled onion crisps. True to form though, Alfie decided to make it an adventure for me. If anyone calls at our house, he has a pressing urge to gift them with something, a shoe, magazine, stuffed doorstop, slipper – anything he can get his teeth into. This time he decided to grab my humongous fade-to-grey knickers with the perished elastic that was hanging on the radiator and duly present them to the startled Tesco Home Delivery driver. The poor boy didn’t know if he should wipe his sweaty brow, blow his nose on them or shove them in his pocket!
How do you spend a typical Saturday night?
If I’m working, I’ll probably be fighting Bob and Degsy for the last biscuit in the tin and nagging them to wash their mugs and hang the moth-eaten tea towels on the hook. If we work an EP shift, we’ll be in a carrier as a sergeant and six on disorder patrol for the nighttime economy (nightclubs, late-night bars and pubs) to be on hand if there’s an alcohol-fueled kickoff.
If I’m lucky enough to be on a rest day, it’s jimjams and fluffy slippers, a nice bottle of Merlot (or Gin) and a takeout whilst watching a good movie snuggled up next to Joe and if I don’t fall asleep first, he could be on a promise! He’s actually laughing as I type this, he said if I hiccup, pout and then wink at him before taking another slug from the wine glass, he knows for sure I’ll be asleep and snoring before he’s turned the bedside lamp off.
Ha Ha Brilliant!! Which talent would you most like to have? Why?
I’d love to be able to sing. I have the most unfortunate musical voice that can send even the most hardened criminal scuttling for cover. As a youngster, I was the child that was made to stand on the back row of the school choir and was actively encouraged by the local vicar to lip-sync to Away in A Manager at the church Christmas Nativity. The clacking of OAP dentures and squealing of hearing aids as they were rapidly turned off during my dubiously dulcet-toned rendition of Silent Night the previous year had apparently been an abiding memory for all. They had then threatened to boycott the following years’ recital if I had been allowed to sing ever again.
To be able to share such an incredible talent as singing, anytime, anywhere and with people who appreciate it, must be a fabulous feeling. Can you imagine taking a deep breath and when you release it, a beautiful sound emerges? It would lift my soul. I do warble a little, but only at home alone or if I’m single crewed in my police car.
I am totally toned deaf and I would love to be able to sing too!! What is your favourite song and why?
Have I Told You Lately by Van Morrison, it’s my all-time favourite. Joe and I fell in love with this. Joe can’t dance at all, he shuffles… inelegantly. He has the most amazing upper body rhythm but for some reason, it fails to reach his feet, this song is perfect for him as he doesn’t have to move around much, he tends to lean on me, sway a bit and jiggle his shoulders. He once accidentally stuck his tongue in my ear during the second verse, but that’s another story!
What a beautiful song! I love this! If you dressed up for Halloween who would you be?
Gosh, definitely Morticia Addams. When Ella was little, I adapted a billowing black evening dress into a replica of Morticia’s famous gown. I’ve had to let the seams out a tad over the years (I’m sure the material has shrunk – no way have I gained that much middle age spread) but it’s as good as the first time I dressed up in it. I’m saving it to frighten my grandchildren one day.
OMG Yes!! You would look amazing, make sure you send a picture! Ok, the final question now! Do you have a favourite joke?
It’s a really silly one, but I love it because it’s simple and a ‘clean’ one that you can tell to any audience.
A bear walks into a bar and says “Give me a whiskey and………….. soda.”
“Why the big pause?” asks the Bartender
The bear shrugged.
“I’m not sure; I was born with them.”
I love this! I will have to try this out on my mini me!
Mavis you have been an absolute dream! Thank you so much for answering my questions, you never fail to make me smile!
Until next time xxx